I looked out of my window a few weeks ago and saw this...



Four men walking back across the pasture towards the house... after checking on our newborn twin calves.
The three in black are mine; The Farmer, Jared and Ben. The remaining one is our friend Michael.

I ran to get my camera to snap this picture. had to.
Even knowing that it wouldn't turn out clear; shooting through a window and with the distance involved.
Still. I needed to capture the moment.

And quickly.

As parenting and mom-ish cliches popped into my head.

They grow up so fast. times flies. don't blink or you'll miss it. The days are long and the years are short.

You've heard 'em. and now. already. dear God. I'm not only thinking them...
I'm the old enough mom to know... that they are all true. :)



Because seriously. in some ways, on some days. it feels like it WAS just yesterday...
that I was the girl wearing tent-like maternity dresses. a few of us did back then. ;)
the young first time mom with sososo much joy. overwhelmed with love. and many questions.
changing diapers. smelling like spit up. winding the baby swing.

(that winding thing dates me too. snicker. anyone else, remember swings without batteries?)

...then a second baby boy. more joy. more love. more questions.
my heart fuller than my hands would ever be. :)
nursing an infant while the toddler was either trying to sit on my lap with a book, 
making suggestions about the flavors mommy was providing the baby,
or getting into things in another room.
like eating the supplemental iron tablets put high in a cupboard out reach. playing with postage stamps like stickers.
raiding and emptying and moving things like a little aggressive warrior on a mission.

a training mission.

I thought they were in training...
hahahahahahahaha.
At least before I had kids I thought that's how it worked.
But we all were.
ARE. still. in training. yes indeed.
they have taught me so much.





Little boys that just yesterday looked like this...

and were insisting that not changing their underwear was "helping with laundry."
I remember proud announcements about new found skills, "I was multi-tasking mom! I brushed my teeth and peed at the same time!"

and who knew? that I would need to be saying things like, don't drool in your brother's hair! don't pee in the trash can! just what.is.that. dripping from the light fixture? who cut the screen door? why is there an entire hot dog floating in the toilet? and sand and water in your dad's new work boots?

who knew? that I could get so angry. or laugh so hard.
or that the roles, job and people that I had wanted more than anything would reveal my own need for Him like almost nothing else.

I had little boys who played with imaginary friends, legos and farm toys. loved tea, scones and John Deere. (who doesn't?! ) and wanted to grow up to drive tractors, fly planes and drink coffee just like daddy. inventive boys. the kind that found mud and sticks to be great entertainment. and bit sandwiches into gun shapes to shoot at their vegetables. 

Boys who thought heaven sounded wonderful without a naptime and bedtime (while their mother did not ) and wanted to know if their bicycles would be there. and spiders. boys who gave their hearts to Jesus. loving Him back. and had me flat out proud some days and on my knees as well, crying out to Jesus in desperation to please. please help us. wondering how we would ever make it.

Be Micah 6:8 men. above all else. He loves you. walk with Him. 



I remember hearing happy birthday mommy just about all year long as it was the most heartfelt, sincerest wish for having a great day that they could think of. I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. how ipecac works. and am grateful for the nice nurses in the emergency department. everytime.

My little boys liked when the "pretty sunset was up" and often picked flowers for me. They hated writing. and most academics. but loved reading. climbing. ramping. hanging. jumping. riding. and woke up at an unthinkable early hour, eight days a week, all year long, almost without fail... until recently when they started turning into man size people.

Man size people.
Which is why I took that first picture.
I'm not sure when it happened. but it did.
My little boys turned into man size people.





Look at them! taller than me now. and hairy. :) with deep voices. and almost "out of the door." I cannot even believe it.

They grow up so fast. times flies. don't blink or you'll miss it. The days are long and the years are short.

Jared, Ben and I ran a half marathon recently with our friend at journey. and they were awesome!
It became way more than training and running together. thankyouthankyouJesus.
Because with all of their interests, accomplishments and abilities that can both scare and thrill my heart,
there's nothing so precious as knowing that your sons are literally breathing "He is with me."

So grown up. and yet...
still growING up.
BeING and becomING.

like their mother. and with their mother. ;)

As a mom, I'm not less busy. but different busy. with my heart still fuller than my hands.
Still sososo much joy. overwhelmed with love. and many questions.
Still flat out proud of them some days and on my knees as well,
crying out to Jesus in desperation to please. please help us. wondering how we will ever make it.

Be Micah 6:8 men. above all else. He loves you. walk with Him. 






Since we make boys in july... we just recently celebrated the birthdays of all three.
So I'm sharing my littlest boy here too.






can't leave Sarah out, even in a post about boys!






Jacob, our youngest, is seven now. which means that he really isn't little little.
But please don't tell me that. shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. because I already know...

They grow up so fast. times flies. don't blink or you'll miss it. The days are long and the years are short.

Be Micah 6:8 men. above all else.
He loves you. walk with Him.

a little TITANIC date and Dr. Ballard

i had a date the other day.

everytime we do, i'm thinking... why doesn't this happen more often?
and with each of the precious people in my family.
some good ole one on one. we need it.

and i know why. when i hear or read something about recognizing priorities and being all intentional,
i'm the one nodding my head and raising my hand, yep. gotta be that.  
but funny how intentional i need to be about being intentional. anyone...?

i had found info about a museum exhibit and lecture in d.c. and he was totally into both.
differences can be part of the fun in relationships for sure. sometimes. ;)
it's also very cool...what all we have in common.

we took the day. just the two of us.
had lunch at our fav d.c. restaurant.
i can't write that without laughing. it's a favorite, that's true.
but it's also like almost the only one we've ever been to in the city.

it was wonderful. delicious mexican food. good conversation...
and of course we mentioned missing the others back home.
something felt nice about missing them. ya know? :)

but i gotta skip ahead here.
because i'm so excited!
we had the best seats at the lecture.
The Best.

          
first row. in front of the podium.
i just had to stick my foot in a picture for perspective.
i'm classy like that when i get out. ;)


this is what we saw during the q&a time, we were that close.
it was this or we were looking up his nostrils. lucky ducky us.

but now to back up a bit...
while i had ordered timed tickets for the titanic exhibit at the national geographic museum,
i had only found about the lecture given by dr. robert ballard after it was sold out.
big bummer.
but learned about their "stand by" line. i could, it was suggested, try that.
they fill the auditorium and then at the last minute sell tickets for the leftover seats IF there are no-shows. 
same $$$. veeery pricey. 
we typically attend more cost-effective lectures...like the free ones. ha.
but when i talked it over with The Farmer, he agreed, especially with an upcoming birthday, it should be given a try.

all righty then.

and while i have had a number of dr. ballard fans in this family for years,
*my jacob was about four years old when he would lay in bed at night
wondering aloud what dr. ballard's mother looked like.*
i realize that most might be thinking... *yawn* WHO?!!! *yawn* :) as i know that history isn't everyone's thing.  
  
dr. robert ballard is an oceanographer who is probably best known for his discovery of the titanic wreck in 1985. but there's so much more that is completely fascinating about him as a person and his amazing career...here and here.



informative. sobering. and fun too. the exhibit included interactive displays, movie props and some detailed models of the titanic then and now.
we loveloveloved it. it did not however, include anything salvaged. dr. ballard is passionate about the site being respected as a graveyard
and there is currently a legislative process being pursued to protect it. 



yes. with being gone all day, lunch out, the visit to the museum, a lecture...
it was actually a Big Big Date.
but i'm calling it a little titanic date 
because my date himself was little.
when we got home, my date's dad, a.k.a. The Farmer, 
came out and carried jacob in---sleeping---from the van.



funfunfun with my six year old date. a fancy shmancy looking reception was being set up as the museum was closing. apparently the list of invitees is based
on something other than passionate intensity and enthusiasm *donor dollars maybe?* ;) because we weren't included.



out in the courtyard, eyes closed...throwing in coins. making a wish, he said. :)



little did we know...




how little boy wishes...and prayers would be answered.

i had no idea that jacob's interaction and connection with another young fan
would ripple effect our entire evening like it did.
*m* and his mom saved us seats.
that's why us two from the standby line sat in the front row in a "first come first serve" seating designation.

jacob and i were #'s two and three in that line.
one nice man was ahead of us. he was very patient with the chatty patty and her son that he was next to.
and someone gave tickets that they could not use to the first three people, emphatically refusing payment.
gave. three.

and...we "happened" to cross paths with dr. ballard in the gift shop when *m* forgot his boat model and ran back to get it. giving us precious time for autographs and pictures.

thank you Jesus.
thank you Jesus.
thank you Jesus.




sunday, april 15, 2012 is the 100th anniversary of the titanic tragedy.

but like dr. ballard had shared...it's not about a ship.

it's the people.
each one an individual. a life. and valuable.
their shoes are still there, lined up together on the ocean floor.

in honor of the many sons. daughters. fathers. mothers.
brothers. sisters. family. friends. that perished then.

and those who we are missing with aching hearts today... 

i'm wanting to

Celebrate Life.
Our Creator. Living Savior. Comforter. Friend.
My Family. and Precious Friendships ~ You.

The gift of today is TITANIC 
i.e. powerful: of extraordinary power, scope, or impressiveness

"choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve"
in my thoughts. words. actions.
breathing Him in. breathing Him out.




"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly  [titanically] :) above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that worketh in us..." Ephesians 3:20

choosing! intentionally. who i serve.

and yes. who i will date. ;)

i didn't know what a gift those last minute free tickets included...
until the next day when i pulled them out of my purse.
if i had had them on ahead, i might have actually read them. but i didn't.
clearly printed were the words, "Audience photography...is prohibited."

ooops.

gulp. i cringed a bit. feeling silly.
thinking of my happy self snapping away with my little point and shoot camera. oh dear.
so glad for the gift of innocence. and the pics i have because of it!!! :D





and if you have a minute, i'd love to hear about your fav date memory.

gone wild x7

it's one of those tag-you're-it things.
thanks neecee @fourkidsonemom for including me in on the fun.

list seven wild things about yourself and tag friends to do the same.

sounds easy enough.

so then.
why is it that on any given day, i'm wondering where the normal is that i signed up for.
and yet, when i'm asked to list wild? i can.not. think of a thing.

our wild must be a little boring. or tootoo embarrassing. ;)

okay. the first thing that comes to mind is...
*man, i feel like a woman!

now there's some wild that we all have going on. whew. howabout it girls?

maybe i should listen to that song before i mention it. as i don't remember much about it at all.

and then there's...

*making and having babies. however normal shnormal... it's still wild. :)



now let's see. what else?

*i swam in the dead sea.

*i took my four kids, jacob was two at the time, to d.c. by myself.

leaving the house at 1:00am, we arrived around 3-ish and then waited in line for 5 hours in cold 30 degree temps...all just to get tickets for an event.  (weird comes to mind with our wild.)  i took along the kid's wagon and a three gallon thermos, handing out cups of hot chocolate to pass the time. made lots of friends that way. ;) and the wild part? my kids and i remember it as fun. we had a blast. yes we did.





*i've ridden a camel and an elephant and have driven a corvette.

*my laundry is wild. anybody?

*i've been known to drive for hours and hours...and on more than one occasion,
to meet strangers that i met on the internet. :D

*i parasailed in the bahamas.

*i love sushi...both times i've had it. :) i.need.to.get.out.more.
but i cannot stand cooking chicken. raw poultry makes me sick.

*heaven has opened up on my family...that's been wild. let me tell you.


now...let's hear your wild! and normal.

@bumblypick

@quiet_hearts

@appalolly

@Richgem

@myall4christ81

@SpazzyMommy

@lin789

you go girls. :)

happy monday to everyone.

*unrelated topics*

i have a hair appt today. hooray!
and it.is.time. high time i tell ya.

gray is such a great color...for clothes. paint. boots. pillows.
blog backgrounds.
even hair.
as in...other people's hair.
mine? not so much. maybe someday.
but for now i am loving me some hair highlights and dye.

funny. how for so long i thought that gray hair was for my mom's age group.
and now...my kids are thinking the same thing.  


   
photos by my friend at journey

it's been a few months ago already that i shared about jared getting his driving permit here. thanks so much for all of the congratulatory comments for him... and the empathetic encouragement, prayers and even a "bless your heart" for me!!!  i felt the cheers and the love.  bless your hearts. and as always, it meant the world.  

the "kids driving stage" was in the far-off future. like gray hair. right?
and now... how did i get here so fast?

is there ever a time in life when we aren't saying that?

and i'm trying to remember what was really so expensive about having two little boys in diapers at the same time...when considering the cost of insurance for teenage boys driving our vehicles. 

   

i didn't actually ride with jared for the first 6-ish weeks. a quick review of my job description *snicker* revealed that "teaching children to drive" was not to be found anywhere at all. and the lifetime allottment for addendums is already maxed out.  i'm doing alot that i'm really not good at.  *anyone?* so whew. glad that The Farmer is taking that one on.

but jared is doing a great job. really he is.
from tearing around our kitchen 15 years ago on his little red plastic fire engine...
to riding on two wheels at the age of three...
then dirt bikes and on to *inserting loyalty* John Deere farm tractors with implements.
he does very well at handling a vehicle.

i'm trying hard not to remember that riding or driving something also always included ramping, "making air," wheelies and "look ma! no hands!"

it's the other drivers who i'm scared of mostly.
that. and there's only one way to change his inexperience with other drivers.
a deeply touching duh is what i'm feeling here. howabout you?

and then...there's this too with jared.
also exciting.
i already posted on fb, but wanted to share with you, my xanga friends as well.



he soloed on december 11th.
that's him in that plane. ^^^
flying alone...before he can even drive alone.
 

when i told a friend, someone who already knew about jared's flight training, our conversation went something like this;
me: jared soloed today!
her: cool! by himself?
me: yes.
her: but with his instructor in the plane.
me: no.
her: *gasp* you mean by himself by himself ?!
me: yes. taking off. flying. landing. all by himself. no instructor in the plane.





photo by proud mom.

as jared was taking off... he rocked the wings to say, "hey mom and dad. look at me."

flashbacks. oh the flashbacks.

ummm...shouldn't you be concentrating on Flying.The.Plane?

later his flight instructor said , "i thought he was acting like a hot dog."

well. imagine that.


signed and dated, first solo t-shirt. 

gray hair.
driving permit.
flying solo.



unrelated topics?

maybe.

maybe not.



and now i'm wondering. can you over use emoticons?

i'm thinking... not with gray hair.
driving permits and solo flights.



 
 

or with a...
Merry CHRISTmas!!!     
and lots of love.   




from me to you,
my family to yours;

may you experience His presence ~ peace
may you be strengthened with His love ~ joy
may you see "the light before the sunrise." ~ hope

"...with the Lord is unfailing love
and with Him is full redemption. " psalm 130:7







{not a this moment}

 

{this moment} - is a friday ritual. inspired by SouleMama
"a single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. a simple, special, extraordinary moment. 
a moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

and then there's this; not a this moment.
also on a friday. but with more than one picture. and words. capturing...something.

which includes This Moment moments. yes it does.

but i can't say that i am the kind of girl who can embrace and savor electricity-less-ness for long.
a quick perfunctory hug is about all i can muster.
and that's only because who doesn't love a candle lit papa john's pizza dinner?
yay for not cooking on a saturday night!

 

jacob suggested snapping the photo of the leaf imprint in the snow. happysighlove. 

but then after that?
i am ready to turn on the upstairs hall light en route to my hot shower with my dishes happily being washed without me. yes. i can hear what i wrote. i know how spoiled that sounds. is.

i just love electricity and indoor plumbing.
and am so very newly grateful for both.
hot and cold water when i want it. where i need it.
lights that turn on. a running refrigerator and flushing pottys.
working oven, hair appliances, washer, dryer, bathtub and coffee pot.

whenever our electric is off, i think of those brave pioneer women of long ago.
and wonder. how.in.the.world. they did that.

at least they had the pony express for all of their printed out email needs. right?
maybe it was a pizza delivery service too. not sure.
i just love history and i'm trying to remember exactly how that was.  ;)
chalk it up to what audrey explained so nicely as mommybrain. 

 

 

anyway. we had at least six inches of the wettest heaviest snow ever.

in october.

in october!



lots of trees and limbs on the fences. the worst of our damages.
but many are still without power north of here, even as i write.   




recently i found this quote. and it made a {this moment} moment in my head.
a simple, special, extraordinary moment.
and it's one that i've paused. am savoring. and not just to remember...
but to know. live. rest.

"Our God is predictable in His character, but He is unpredictable in His activity."

"you cannot box God in. when you put a lid on a box, it doesn't limit God; it limits your awareness of God. He's still moving and speaking, yet you can be unaware of His transcendance, His greatness, and His ability because it's outside of your little box." ~ priscilla shirer




so...here's to friday and the weekend!
new this moments. and the not ones.
and to keeping the lids off of our boxes.


know. live. rest.